Multi-Dimensional Aspects of Building Self-Confidence:

• Abilities
• Perceived Abilities
• Self-Image
• Self-Awareness
• Creativity
• Intelligence
• Social & Emotional Intelligence
• Resiliency
• Ability to Assess Social Conclusions
• Self-Trust
• Dual-Self; “The Mist” (I believe in myself—-I don’t believe in myself; self-liking—–self hatred)

The various aspects of self-confidence are assessed while creating a personal definition in each of these areas of functioning.  This holistic approach to understanding and building self-confidence allows for the development of Confidence Thinking.  As the skills for new thinking choices is acquired; efforts are made to attempt new social experiences while applying new definitions of self in each situation.  With support, the individual takes time to re-assess, tweak, and re-define personal dimensions of self-confidence in social situation.  Whether a new situation or just a situation in which new behavior must be tried and applied, the individual is supported to try out new skills, new thinking choices, and gain the confidence to establish healthy behavioral choices.  

Foundations of Confidence Thinking:

• Development of Integrity:  Integrity is a choice!  Each day we are presented with decisions small and large and we can respond by making choices that assist in the development of integrity.  Our value structure is our guidepost that can keep us on the right path and assist in the development and maintenance of life integrity.  As our integrity develops we gain self-confidence and validation that we will make healthy life choices.  

• Maintenance of Dignity:  Sometimes our life choices result in loss, disappointment and the experience of discouragement.  Our perception of self may become negatively impacted, and we may behave in ways that results in a loss of dignity.  By design we may choose to focus on living our life by making choices that our congruent to maintaining dignity.  By creating a visionary focus in life we will keep on track and make healthy choices to maintain our dignity despite any obstacles. 

• Resiliency:  The human spirit has the ability to recover and self-correct for life imbalances.  At times life throws us a curve ball and we experience losses beyond what we believe we are capable of handling. Some individuals find the inner strength to over-come tremendous loss and continue to live life in balance.   Our temperament, neuro-biological hard-wiring, social learning, and self-belief structures play an important role in our ability to develop resiliency.   By changes to the manner in which we think, feel, behave, and believe we can affect our neuro-biology, and develop resiliency beyond what we previously had available in life.

• Optimism:  Loosing site of optimism can leave an individual vulnerable to depression, anxiety, physical illness or other unwanted conditions.  The anecdote to despair is optimism or hope.  When people suffer despair they may not be thinking clearly or exercising “New Choice Thinking.”  Realigning with the foundations of “Confidence Thinking”  helps the individual re-establish balance in life and clear the path to think creatively and make New Choices that lead to a healthier lifestyle.

• Fear Reduction:  Fear can be paralyzing and prevent people from achieving desired life goals or attaining healthy relationships.   At an extreme, FEAR can result in self-abandonment.  At a minimum, fear can present as an obstacle to self-confidence and disrupt the ability to make healthy life choices.  In effort to grow in confidence and have access to all life choices fear must be confronted and over-come.

• Assertion:  Frequently people will confuse aggression with assertion, and make poor life choices as a result.  Behaving aggressively will repel others from you and limit your available life choices.  Fear is closely linked to assertion in that people will avoid asserting themselves for fear they will experience rejection or loss.  As a result, they limit their own life choices and leave themselves open to disappointment, discouragement and despair.  All of these can interfere with the development of confident and need to be addressed and alleviated to make way for confidence thinking to occur.

• Respect:  Everything and everyone in life is worthy of respect; this allows the existence of life balance.  When we suffer a loss of respect life will seem out of balance.  If we treat others with a lack of respect; life will be out of balance.  A healthy belief that we are worthy of respect assists in keeping our lives in balance.  This balance leads to strength and gives us the confidence to be whole in mind, body, and spirit.  

• Empowerment: When life is in balance, and we are confident that we are living by the values that guide us we can assertively choose health.  In relationships we can holistically respect each-other and validate and support the individual gifts that each of us possess.  We can value the individual differences unique to each individual and truly empower ourselves and others.   We can live in confidence, with courage, and make the new choices needed to transcend unhealthy life-styles and transform our lives by making new choices that lead to health.   

• Congruent Choice:  Discrepancies between anticipated or perceived and real outcomes can result in conflict.  The discrepancies can result from the personal choices made; sometimes these choices go against individual morals and values.  When an individual makes unhealthy choices they experience emotional conflict that can take on many forms such as anxiety, depression, relational losses or social disconnection.  The end result is that the whole person is out of balance.  Learning to re-establish life-balance by making healthy choices that are consistent and congruent with personal beliefs allows for an alliance and re-centering of self.  Making congruent choices can helps the individual regain the necessary confidence to reconnect socially to self and others.

 

• Acquisition of Decision-Making Skills for Life:  Sometimes people lack the critical thinking skills to make healthy choices and decisions that lead to a balanced life-style.   Perhaps they were not given these tools during the crucial stages of development and therefore they were unable or will be able to access them in adulthood.  The ability to make life decisions requires Self-Empowerment.   Critical Decision Making also requires that an individual stay connected to their personal definition of integrity while unwavering in holding onto personal dignity.  In situations of conflict, abuse, trauma, or social deprivation (mild to extreme) this critical thinking may not have been nurtured or developed.  It is never too late to learn this skill and improve life and enjoy it to the richest extent.  New Choice Thinking and Confidence Thinking helps the individual acquire the skills necessary to create a balanced lifestyle and establish a healthy relationship to self and others.  
  

Realizing that we always have a Choice enables us to maintain hope in life.  No matter our situation, no matter our level of functioning; maintaining hope prevents us from falling prey to depression, anxiety, unhealthy behavioral choices, unhealthy relationship choices, and an array of unwanted situations, behaviors or personality traits.  Learn to develop self-confidence by “Choice” and engage in “New Choice Thinking.”  Contact Dr. Steffen immediately to begin the change process:  csteffen@coachingchoicecollege.com